Daily Politics Thread

The Leftorium Turns Over A New Leaf in 2018

Yes, you heard right. The Leftorium has decided finally to quit fucking around and focus all its attention on the monster in the White House.

What does this mean, you ask?

For starters, attacking #nevertrumpers is no longer okay. David Frum et al. may have contributed to errors in judgement years ago that led to hundreds of thousands of casualties but they are the woke, principled, moderate conservative allies we need in our resistance to Drumpf and no further slander will be tolerated.

We will be enacting a zero-tolerance policy for Bernie “Saint Bernard” Sanders and his legion of berniebros. No one gets to call attention to corruption within the democratic ranks except democrats and they’ll get around to it just as soon as Drumpf is impeached and VP Mike Pence assumes the office. Need I remind you all, Bernie isn’t even a democrat!

Let’s face it, even though 88% of Berners voted Hillary in the general, we’ve done a pretty terrible job since of pledging our fealty to the McResistance and it has been costly to our brand. In 2018, certain woke liberals would rather walk down a dark alley with a white klansman than with a leftist of any ethnicity. At least with a klansman, they know what they’re getting. This reflects badly on us and only makes them looked more principled.

We will ramp up neo-McCarthyism in 2018 and stake everything on Mueller and the FBI finding that smoking gun. We will defend the FBI and CIA’s honor against bastard Trump.

We will from now on be ignoring all previous state-sanctioned atrocities on the world stage that took place while previous presidents were in office.

In 2018, we will treat black women voters as a monolith and discuss them only through the prism of how they can bail out the democrats whenever they run candidates uninspiring enough to barely edge out a win against a confirmed child rapist.

In 2018, we will refrain from criticizing democratic candidates until after they’ve won, and even then, we will wait until a time deemed more appropriate for criticism. We will not use comments they make to the press after winning as evidence of how they plan to vote or anything like that.

In 2018, the Leftorium intends to see covfefe president impeached and that will be our sole focus. Resist. Democracy dies in darkness.